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Alone on a Saturday Night

by John Bowman

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Johnny Maudlin
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Johnny Maudlin These songs cut right to the heart of the matter. Written and sung unabashedly. Time and love. Memories. Painful. Cherished.
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1.
Alone on a Saturday Night July 2011 Been playing for hours working on a new song Music sounds right but the words are all wrong I know what I want I can hear it in my head But my voice is singing something else instead Trying to figure out how to play the notes right Just me and my guitar all alone on a Saturday night Just me and my guitar all alone on a Saturday night Playing up on stage in some noisy bar No one can hear me I can’t hear myself I try my best to give it all I’ve got Cause someone might be listening while the others talk Trying to figure out how to play …….. Pouring out my heart Into the words on the page Hoping people like it When I play it on stage It might be a love song Or a story about a dream Or a tale about something I lost In some place I might have been It’s getting late night is almost done I think this song just might be the one It’s got everything that I want to say All put together in just the right way Trying to figure out how to play …….
2.
Burning All the Bridges March, 2012 I used to look out my front window and watch the birds in the sky And wonder what it would be like to have the freedom to fly I made a choice to live a life where I sacrificed my dreams And I’ve tried to make the best of it but I’m running out of steam I’ve packed all the things I need Burning all the bridges behind me I’m leaving for a different place Where I can be the person that I was born to be I got married fifty years ago to a man I rarely see He always finds some place to go to get away from me There was a time I used to miss him, there was a time I used to care But I can’t keep up this masquerade when there’s so little time to spare I’ve packed all the things …. It took me many years just to find the strength To stop putting off my freedom for some other day But I don’t wonder anymore how it feels to spread my wings And fly away. Now I can fly away Now I sit out on my front porch where I can hear the ocean waves And no one tells me what I got to do so I can do just what I please Now my friends and neighbours visit me so we can share a laugh or two We play card games late into the night maybe have a drink or two I’ve packed all the things…….
3.
Like I Used to November 2012 I don’t worry about all the things I can’t change Like I used to And I don’t see the world through a black and white view Like I used to I still wonder if there’s any end to the sky And I try to sort out the truth from the lies But I don’t take for granted the time passing by Like I used to I don’t make any statement with the length of my hair Like I used to And I don’t shout at the world that life isn’t fair Like I used to I still wonder if there’s any end …… As I try to make sense of a world spinning round I still search for the wisdom that I should have found And my dreams aren’t as big as they once used to be But the weight on my shoulders grows lighter each day I don’t try to pretend that I’m someone I’m not Like I used to And I don’t measure myself by the things that I’ve bought Like I used to I still wonder if there's any end...
4.
The Barrel of a Gun January 2013 In the classrooms and the factories you can feel the gunshots ring And when the thunder’s over, you can hear the angels sing As you’re running for your life you can reflect on what you’ve won This freedom that you have from the barrel of a gun We’re the self-appointed guardians of what is right and wrong We beat up third world countries to show them we are strong In Viet Nam and Afghanistan we left behind a smoking ruin Trying to impose our will from the barrel of a gun The gap between the rich and poor grows larger every day As we cut back on the help we give to those who couldn’t pay And those that crack beneath the strain of another setting sun Will go out in a blaze of glory with the barrel of a gun As we bury all the children the people ask for change As the politicians argue, they sell more guns every day As schools look more like prisons, to protect our little ones From the culture that we built, with the barrel of a gun
5.
All Around the World October, 2012 There were no roads we wouldn’t travel There were no hills we wouldn’t climb But days were short, and work was hard And we couldn’t find the time So we raised our kids and made our home So that somewhere down the line We’d see the pictures from our dreams We’d go all around the world All around the world Just me and my girl We’d go all around the world We dreamed of sailing on the oceans Writing our names across the sky We’d make our lists and plan our trips And look forward to the day When we’d explore the trails, and ride the rails And take the time to play To see colours ripple in the sky We’d go all around the world …. We waited ‘til we could retire We waited ‘til the kids were grown and gone And years passed by like birds that fly We waited for too long With her ashes in my pack, I go from town to town When I find a quiet place she’d like, I spread a few around Sometimes I can feel her smile and I know I’m not alone And her spirit gives me the strength to climb these castles made of stone I see the beauty through her eyes As we go all around the world ……..
6.
Background Noise May, 2012 Took my first lesson, I was eight years of age From a white-haired old lady, who taught me to play So I practiced my scales and played some old songs And sometimes I heard my mother singing along I’m just background noise for the talkers and the drinkers Elevator music for the movers and the shakers If I make a mistake in this song, will anyone know? When I was fifteen, I played in a band Packed my Wurlitzer organ in the back of a van And we’d try to look cool on the high school gym stage And I played with a joy that I can’t find again Now I’m just background noise …… But someone would know, and that would be me Cause I know how the music should be So I’ll play the big finish, put all my heart in it Like I’m on a big stage, and the crowd is amazed And they’re standing and calling my name I got my big break when I sold a few songs To be used in the soundtrack when the TV is on And sometimes at night I’ll turn on the screen To watch some old rerun and hear those songs again I’m just background noise ……
7.
Hard Way to Live August, 2011 She was a young girl Looking for a ticket out of home So she found a young man who made her feel So wonderful Then they built a family one by one And she quit her job to take a different one Sent the kids to school each morning While he went to earn his pay It’s a hard way to live When you’re feeling so alone When you’re hoping what he tells you might be true It’s a hard way to live When the night is almost gone And he’s miles away and you’re wondering who he’s holding in his arms Soon they got a bigger house In a better neighbourhood And they saw less of each other As he worked all that he could There was less and less to talk about More and more to say Before you knew it the time had slipped away It’s a hard way to live……. Now the kids have grown older Moved out and on their own He’s still working such long hours Never happy when he’s home And the trust she had when they made their vows Was from a different time She won’t ask him if he’s faithful She doesn’t want to hear him lie It’s a hard way to live……
8.
The Only Man for You December, 2012 I didn’t call you Because you asked me You said there’s nothing more to say I never missed you Just like I told you But this pain won’t go away I’m not the only man whose held you in the night But when you were in my arms you know it felt so right Now that you’ve gone away I don’t know what to do Cause I thought I was the only man for you The night I met you Thought I was happy I didn’t know the meaning of the word You took me with you Into your dark eyes Gave me a glimpse of a better world I’m not the only man whose held you …. If I was stronger I’d keep coming back for more But I still remember the way you looked at me when you closed that door I never see you Only your picture I couldn’t bear to throw it away I hear you moved on To another city Guess there’s no reason for you to stay I’m not the only man whose held you ….
9.
I Would Save It August, 2012 When I was young and independent All I wanted was to face the world alone That was all before you came into my life Now everything I do is better shared with you If I could gather all our love, hold it in my arms I would save it, in my heart for you If I could capture all the beauty in the light of a setting sun I would save it, in my heart for you I don’t ever have to sit and wonder How I’ll face a world that can be cold Cause I’ve got you with me through the day and night The gifts we share together can’t be bought or sold If I could gather all our love … There’s been times when life has knocked me down And you’re there to put my arms around And I hold on, I hold on We’ve shared the beauty of a summer day Found a place where we can steal away On our own, away from the rest of the world As time goes by our love grows stronger The wind and rain won’t break the bond we share And when you need someone to hold when times are rough You’ll never have to search too far, you’ll always find me there If I could gather all our love.,..
10.
Morning Train September, 2012 As the curtain rose, we step into our roles Stand in our place, inside the station gates Try to find a place where we can sit awhile Maybe a familiar face, or a friendly smile I’m waiting, waiting, on the morning train To take me where I’ve got to be Waiting, waiting on the morning train And it’s bleeding the soul right out of me We read our books and play our songs And hope this day won’t last too long Conversations float down the aisles Last night’s TV shows, and all the latest styles I’m waiting, waiting …… I’m riding the rails but they aren’t leading me to freedom Just an office where I sit and stare at a computer screen The money’s so good that I don’t think I can leave it But my time is counting down, turn my back and it’s gone As daylight fades, I catch the last train home I fight to stay awake, although my eyes are closed The cell phones ring, and the earbuds sing Until the morning comes, and we do it all again I'm waiting, waiting......
11.
River Guide 05:20
River Guide October, 2012 My river has a story that I learned over the years Didn’t read it in a book, wasn’t taught it in a school The river was my class room, it taught me where to go Showed me all her secrets, now I can drive her like a road I’m gonna row this raft through the rapids, feel the water splash my skin We’ll come out the other side and do it again I’m gonna row this raft through the rapids, no other place I want to go It sets me free; it makes me whole They come from all the cities, and many different towns And they try to get away from all the stresses they have found So I take them on a journey, with the river as our guide And I try to find the safest place to take them for a ride I’m gonna row this raft ….. At the end of a long day, I unload the raft pack the gear away And I wonder what they’re doing back home There’s a price I pay to be on this road When I’m floating down that river There’s no sacrifice I wouldn’t make to be with her There are jobs that pay more money, and I’ll have to get one soon When I’m sitting in my office, I’ll be thinking about the moon And all the shooting stars I saw that night in the sky above Paradise Lodge And I will get back there some day to hold those paddles in my arms I'm gonna row this raft.....
12.
If You Don’t Know By Now January 2012 When I saw you from a distance You were like a shining star I hoped to get to know you Find out who you are After many years together I’ve come to know you very well We’ve taken some long and lonely roads For the stories we could tell If you don’t know by now That I love you with all my heart If you don’t know by now When I’ve tried so hard to show you how If you don’t know by now If you don’t know by now If you don’t know by now Then you will never know If I had never met you I guess I’d carry on I’d lie in bed and dream about you in my arms I’d never give up hoping That you’d come into my life And fill the empty space as my partner and my wife If you don’t know by now ….. Now we grow old together As we sail upon the sea Through stormy nights and sunny days You’re right here with me Now we move a little slower Take some time along the way As we spend less time out working, we’ve got more time to play Chorus
13.
Room Down the Hall April 2011 There’s a room down the hall Where I go when I sleep Wake early in the morning From the noises on my street There’s a desk and a chair And a picture in a frame All the rooms beside me Look pretty much the same But my life is so much bigger That these four walls I can see There’s a dream that’s got my name on it And it’s waiting to break free I once had a house That had many rooms It was too big for me to hold onto Had a wife and two kids Wasn’t ready when I did They don’t look much like the picture that still sits beside my bed But my life is so …… Open windows let my spirit fly Open doors lead to a world outside Keep riding that big ferris wheel to where it takes me Don’t have time for religion You can save your prayers for me No one ever gave me nothing I wouldn’t take it any way I go to work in the morning Walk the streets until dark Tell myself I’m looking for something When I find it I’ll know what But my life is so much bigger.....

credits

released March 5, 2014

The Musicians:
John Bowman: guitar and lead vocals
Tobias Meis: bass
Kristine St. Pierre: harmony vocals
Mark St. Jean: harmonica
Hollis Morgan: dobro
Greg Jeeves: piano
Margot Lange: violin

Vocals and guitar recorded by Gregg Gorrie at Pistachio Studio, Aldergrove, BC

Recording of all other instruments and vocals, plus additional mixing, and all mastering, by Hollis Morgan at Constant Sound Studio, Ottawa, ON

Photos by Mitch Bowman and Diane Bowman
Cover design by Mitch Bowman

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John Bowman Vancouver, British Columbia

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